Tag: Loneliness

QUOTES

“We have been fed a steady diet of inaccurate information about growing older, and that information is that it’s all decline. And the truth is in the literature that there are many things that get better as you get older. We don’t care as much what people think about us, we appreciate our connections more, and we have greater potential for problem solving.” (Dr. Burnight)

“I’ve just been amazed by, like, who would think that a book on aging would become a New York Times bestseller? I mean, that’s where people are in recognizing these 100-year lives and recognizing that the status quo is not sufficient.” (Dr. Burnight)

“There were times where I had my head down on the keyboard crying because it was so hard because I wanted to bring in all the research, but I also wanted to make it really readable. And so I just kept thinking, simplify, simplify.” (Dr. Burnight)

“When I realized that the American Psychological Association defines joy as well-being and satisfaction, it made me realize that joy isn’t this like happy, happy, you know. It’s the opposite of toxic positivity.” (Dr. Burnight)

“What they said is that happiness is often circumstantially dependent, whereas joy can exist even in challenge because it’s an inside out phenomena. And that was an ah-ha moment for me.” (Dr. Burnight)

“I don’t know any older adults who haven’t had significant challenges. That is the nature of being a human. And we’re going to have those challenges. So it isn’t that we’re going to control for everything. That’s impossible. It’s that we’re going to find a way to have joy anyway.” (Dr. Burnight)

“What the research shows us is that genetics predicts between 13% and 25% of our aging experience. So the vast majority is up to us.” (Dr. Burnight)

“One utterly suffered, and it was such a rough road, and it was really hard to be around her. And then the other one had found this ability to be content, and we couldn’t get enough of her… we watched that it is possible to walk with grief and joy.” (Dr. Burnight)

NOTES

Dr. Kerry Burnight is a nationally recognized gerontologist, author, speaker and advocate with more than three decades of experience working with older adults and families. Her work focuses on aging, joy, well-being, elder abuse prevention and redefining longevity beyond decline.

Dr. Burnight is the author of JoySpan, a New York Times bestseller that reframes aging by emphasizing joy, adaptability and meaning alongside lifespan and healthspan. She is also a co-founder of the Elder Abuse Forensic Center and a leader in research-driven aging policy and practice.

Joy is not fleeting happiness but a deeper sense of well-being that can coexist with hardship and challenge.

Genetics play a smaller role in aging outcomes than commonly believed, with most of the aging experience shaped by behavior and mindset.

Joy and well-being can be intentionally built through daily practices, much like physical health.

People who thrive in long lives consistently invest in growth, connection, adaptability and contribution.

Aging is not solely defined by decline; many cognitive, emotional and relational strengths improve with age.

Gratitude and attention shape perception, influencing both mood and social connection.

Loneliness is best addressed through proactive effort, including initiating relationships rather than waiting to be invited.

Society, policy and senior living environments must move away from infantilizing older adults and toward dignity, choice and purpose.

In an era where the average person feels more connected than ever, the issue of loneliness among seniors is becoming disconcerting. Boomers, Xers and Millennials have adapted to a social world that revolves around mobile technology, yet seniors are becoming increasingly disassociated from their families. So, what’s the root cause of this problem, and how can we address it as aging services professionals?

According to the latest U.S. Census Bureau data, about 28 percent of people aged 65 and older are living alone. As one ages, the chances of living alone increase. This makes sense, as spouses pass away and children move out. Of course, living alone doesn’t immediately make someone lonely, but we can all agree that it’s a step in the direction of loneliness.

Becoming a single-person household can start a chain reaction that leads to larger, wide-ranging problems. Studies have shown that older adults that feel lonely or isolated will begin displaying behaviors that make them increasingly more difficult to interact with in social situations, thus pushing friends and relatives even further away. This, of course, only makes the person feel more lonely, creating a vicious psychological cycle.

The negative implications of a lonely lifestyle are numerous. Isolated and lonely seniors have a 59 percent greater risk of mental and physical decline and show a 45 percent mortality increase. Of those living alone, one in seven is suffering from some kind of dementia, which can go undetected if a person isn’t engaging in regular social interactions.

Family dynamics have also changed. At one time, a child might have gone to visit his or her parents once or twice a month. Now, the number of in-person visits is dwindling, being replaced by less-frequent phone calls or perhaps the use of Skype and FaceTime. These technological visits don’t have the same effect for seniors that in-person interaction does.

One statistic of special note for aging services providers comes from data reported by AARP: Forty-five percent of people aged 45 or older who have lived in their current residence less than one year reported feeling lonely. Let that sink in for a minute!

Even in our vibrant, active communities — filled with intelligent and engaged residents and staff — new residents can feel especially lonely and isolated. It can become difficult for them to make new friends, navigate the social structure of your community and become involved in a meaningful way. Ensuring that each new resident is paired with a neighbor to show them the ropes when he or she moves in is vitally important.

The social workers at aging services communities are on the frontlines of the battle against loneliness, but each associate at your community should be on the lookout for signs of self-seclusion or withdrawal. Protecting residents, both physically and mentally, is an important part of each team member’s job.

Sources:

https://www.aarp.org/research/topics/life/info-2014/loneliness_2010.html

https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/10-17-14-facts-about-senior-isolation/