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I’m Ellie Weaver. I’m an account strategist at Varsity, and I’m addicted to “The Golden Bachelor.”

Why is it that a 20-something like me never misses an episode of the new ABC show focused on finding love for a 71-year-old?

At the risk of sounding cheesy, I find the show inspiring. As a young woman, it often feels like I have a ticking clock over my head, which isn’t helped by the questions I get constantly: “When are you getting married? Don’t you want to? When are you giving us grandkids?” (Maybe that’s just my mom.) That being said, it’s nice when you can get the perspective of “The Golden Bachelor,” where the main message is that there’s no time limit on love, and all of the women (and Gerry, of course) are full of renewed hope for love in their future. This message hits differently coming from people of their age and just feels genuine. I’m not alone in my age group in watching. According to The Hollywood Reporter, “The Golden Bachelor” has hit 9 million viewers and almost quadrupled its rating among adults 18-49.

Helping Older Adults Be Seen
I love the way that the show is changing perceptions of aging, showing the contestants as whole people and vibrant romantic interests, rather than stereotypes of who or what a senior “should” be. That’s super important, because seniors, especially women, are often stereotyped as mothers/grandmothers and marginalized. As one contestant, Joan, said, “As you get older you become more invisible. People don’t see you anymore. Like you’re not as significant as when you were young.”

Romance Has No Age
Every week, “The Golden Bachelor” and one of the women go on a romantic one-on-one date. They mix these one-on-one dates with group dates, where Gerry and a handful of the contestants do a group activity, like a pickleball tournament. Besides looking like they’re all having a total blast on these dates, it shows that fun and romance are possible at any age.

On that note, the show doesn’t shy away from its raunchier moments that are on par with your standard Bachelor or Bachelorette season. As Susan quipped in the first episode, “I’m very comfortable with six inches” — in reference to her sky-high heels, of course. But I think that serves a greater purpose, too, that your sex life doesn’t stop when you turn 60, and that seniors are looking for love and passion the same way all people are. Ellen said it best in the first episode: “Everyone’s entitled to love and be loved.”

Girl Talk Over Halo Top
It’s not all romance, though. There are lots of scenes in the women’s downtime, where you can tell they have just as much fun with each other as they do on their dates. When they played a game of “Never Have I Ever” over ice cream, it felt like hanging out with a group of your best girlfriends. A lot of people who may have preconceived notions of what seniors “should” talk about will be blown away by the women of “The Golden Bachelor” swapping stories of their wildest sexcapades over pints of Halo Top.

Sharing the Grief, Too
Grief is also a prominent theme of the show. Gerry mentions his late wife often, and you can tell how much she is still a part of him. Many of the contestants have also experienced losing a partner, and they readily open up to Gerry about their grief. It’s an important representation to see, as I’m sure many seniors feel stuck in an in-between place after the loss of a spouse, not ready to let go and move on. I hope that viewers see themselves in these experiences and feel like they’re not alone.

Up Next: My Analysis of The Finale!
My favorite match for Gerry, Ellen, has already left the show in a rose ceremony, but I am still eagerly awaiting the finale. Stay tuned for this millennial’s analysis of the final episode of “The Golden Bachelor” that reveals Gerry’s perfect match!

 

 

 

 

The facts are clear: More Baby Boomers are working past what has been traditionally thought of as retirement age. In fact, a recent Pew Research Center study found that Baby Boomers are staying in the labor force at the highest annual rate for people their age in more than half a century.

Why Residents Still Work

We’re also hearing from communities that more residents are still working. That could mean full-time, part-time, freelance, consulting or owning a business. Financial reasons for continuing to stay in the workforce include not wanting to draw on social security and needing to help grown children financially. Some other reasons I’ve heard are nonfinancial. Residents are saying that working does some important things for them, like:

• Keeps me connected socially to a group of people I have come to appreciate being with
• Allows me an opportunity to keep my mind focused on something other than “retirement” and “getting old”
• Stimulates my mind, helps me remain relevant and gives me a sense of purpose
• Has always been such a significant part of my life — I can’t give it up yet

How Senior Communities Can Attract Them

So, how can senior living communities appeal to residents who are still working? Here are a few ideas:

1. Evening fitness classes — Whether residents are working from home or going to an office, they may be busy during the day. Traditional classes at 10 or 11 in the morning just won’t work for them. The same goes for gym hours. This innovative wellness program  features a 24-hour gym and flexible class times.
2. Smart home office design — When a couple I know moved into a retirement community, their apartment came with a small third bedroom. They redid it into an office, adding built-ins to make room for desks and storage, and made much smarter use of the space. Well-designed, highly functional office space that doesn’t need any remodeling to be effective could be a major draw.
3. High–speed internet — Wireless internet is the #1 desired amenity in senior living. It is even more important if a resident is working from home.
4. Co-working spaces — Residents who work at home would appreciate a dedicated co-working space where they could interact with other working residents. Click here to see one example of an amazing co-working space for seniors.
5. Work-related seminars and groups — Workshops and lectures on topics such as how to start a business or develop an online presence would be attractive to working residents and would help them build a network with their peers.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the labor force participation rate for the older segment of the population will continue to climb. Why not prepare your community by designing features that appeal to this rapidly growing demographic?

 

 

I was fortunate to attend the LeadingAge PA Fellows in Leadership graduation ceremony in Allentown, PA. I came away with some serious leadership envy. It was obvious that during this year-long program, the group had become extremely tight knit and the Fellows had grown very comfortable around one another. You could tell they really appreciated being able to bounce ideas off their new network of peers and having very supportive and approachable leaders within each group.

At one point, there was an exercise where people went around the room and commented on each other’s strengths. They gave thoughtful and sincere answers and you could tell that their words were from the heart.

The sentiments shared at the larger meeting were echoed by two people I spoke with in more depth: Diane Burfeindt, Vice President of Population Health at Presbyterian Senior Living, a coach, and Brian Mailliard, CFO at St. Paul’s Senior Living Community, a Fellow. Both were part of the same small group.

As we discussed the year-long journey, the two remembered back to the first day. At first, Brian was hesitant to try the program. He didn’t know what to expect. “My hesitation went away – day one – minutes into the first session,” he said. “The program changed my whole approach to leadership.”

During the year the group was together, Diane found it interesting that many participants underwent changes and growth in their responsibilities and titles. “Change can be scary, even if it’s a positive thing,” she said.  “Luckily, they had the group to fall back on. Typically, you don’t have people to talk to about work. This was a safe place where people could talk about their challenges.”

Brian seconded that thought. “Before when I would have a difficult situation or tough conversation at work, I felt like I was out on an island — who could I ever talk to that had that experience? Now that we’ve gone through this program, we can pick up the phone and call someone.”

The group plans to keep on being that support system for one another through phone calls and meetings. “One of the most important parts of the leadership academy is what happens after it’s over,” Diane said.

Both Diane and Brian agreed that leadership isn’t a destination, it’s a lifelong journey.

“It continues to remind me every year – leadership is a process and you’re never done,” Diane said. “It’s growth and a part of life – it’s not separate from your personal life. If you think you know it all as a person, then you sort of stagnate. It’s nice to be with the Fellows and the class and get out of your daily routine and remind yourself of that.”

“This program is only one tool,” Brian added. “The biggest realization is that you’ve got to always be working at leadership. Whether it’s reading or conferences or signing up for specific programs — if you don’t make it an intentional part of your career then you’re going to get caught up in the day to day and put it off.”

One of the most fascinating components of the program was the final project each Fellow had to present. Brian completed his on a program called Share Care, an innovative housing solution for low-income seniors. Stay tuned for more details in a guest post from Brian.

 

 

One major myth about older adults and technology is that they don’t use it because they don’t understand it. But that idea is as outdated as a flip phone. From social media to online banking, older Americans are adopting tech at the speed of light.

Recent findings by the Link-Age Connect 2019 Technology Survey of Older Adults Age 55-100, also featured in Senior Housing Forum, bear that out. Smartphone use in particular has been skyrocketing. Among people ages 70-74, it shot up from 54 percent to 81 percent. That’s in just the past three years.

Unexpected  Choices

What’s even more surprising than the speed at which older adults are adopting new technologies? The reasons why some are unplugging from tech completely. Or at least using it less. Seniors often make this change, not because they’re confused about technology, but because they’re making a conscious choice to live offline. Here are some of their very smart reasons:

1. 1. Older adults prefer human connection. As smartphone penetration spikes ever higher in people of all ages, we’re all on our phones, all the time. Even when we get together, we’re logging on to check social media or our daily step count instead of talking to one another. Older Americans have the wisdom of knowing that time on this earth  is precious. It’s important to spend it with family and friends instead of glued to a device. One quote from the study proves the point. “I think technology is taking over people’s lives and it takes away from relationships with people.” – Female, age 95-99.
   2. They’re simplifying their lives. Older adults often have a desire for minimalism that goes hand in hand with human connection. The survey states, “As people age, they simplify their lives, allowing more time for personal interaction and less time for things that ‘busy’ them or take them away from time with family and friends.” Another quote adds,“It isn’t necessarily about teaching older adults to use a technology. It very well could be that they have used it and walked away from it because they do not want it in their lives any longer.”
   3. They’re watching their budget. Those on a fixed income struggle to pay for technology. For instance, only 25% of affordable housing residents have in-home WiFi , compared to 90% of the greater population. Even when older adults can afford to spend more, they follow the principle: “If it works, don’t fix it.”  Sure, marketing campaigns are persuading other generations that they need to spend hundreds on the latest Smartphone. But older Americans often aren’t interested in updating just to get the latest bells and whistles. If it’s a “want” instead of a true need, they’ll keep the device that still works just fine.

 Personality Trumps Age 

The study also found that technology adoption relates more to personality than age. Comments from two different survey participants underscore that point: “I L-O-V-E technology.” – Female, age 84. “I prefer to use it when I want to and not be run by it or tied to it.” – Female, age 95-99. At Varsity, we’ve expressed our opinions before about not lumping everyone 65+ into one category. This new research has driven home, once again, that people of ages need to be seen as individuals — when it comes to technology or anything else.

At the recent LeadingAge CA conference, the buzz was around the changes in how mature consumers are using their homes.  Those changes also mean different expectations for their new residences. Here are three design elements your community must have to attract Boomers:

1. Space that works

More residents are continuing their careers. Therefore, they desire more usable work and office space. It’s no longer enough to provide the corner of a room for computers. These days, prospective residents are looking for more formal office space and built-in furnishings to support their ongoing careers.

2. Indoor-outdoor living

Common space for socialization is no longer sufficient. Prospective residents are looking for open floor plans and spaces that transition to outdoor areas. so they can entertain groups of friends and relatives.  A place to party in the privacy of their own space is a common request.

3. A home with a heart

Along with higher-grade finishes, Boomers want open-concept, larger kitchens and kitchen islands. An open layout can replicate what happens in their own homes, where everyone congregates in the kitchen to socialize.

Architects and marketers are sharing notes in an effort to create more pleasing environments for a younger set of prospects. Although the shift toward younger residents is slow at best, the mindset and expectations of prospects — regardless of age — feels younger.

 

 

This past week, I attended the LeadingAge Colorado 2019 Annual Conference and Exhibition in Vail, Colorado. One of my most profound experiences there was hearing a presentation by keynote speaker Jonathan Fanning. In his speech, Fanning challenged us to “happen to the world.” Our speaker’s assumption was that too many of us don’t happen to the world.  Instead, the world happens to us.

To me, his message had personal meaning. You see, in our business, we often allow life to simply happen to us. This is true not only at work, but too often in our personal lives as well. When we allow life to just happen to us, we usually find ourselves in a place where we feel less in control of circumstances. Perhaps, we even feel  victimized by life’s events.

My Early Travels
Fanning’s talk brought me back to a time early in my career, when I had begun traveling for work. Throughout my career, I’ve continued to have many opportunities to travel across the country and the world. (That’s why my agency, Varsity, ended up creating Flat Wayne,  my alter ego, an intrepid traveler who shows up in cities all over and is always the life of the party.)

Today, I’m as gregarious as “Flat Wayne,” but early on, I would spend most nights huddled around my paperwork within the four walls of the hotel. My work was always the most important task for the evenings, along with a lonely dinner.

Thinking Differently
One of my mentors challenged me to think differently about my travel. He tasked me with doing two things: One was to always find something unique about the area I was visiting and to go see that place or event. The other challenge was to never dine alone. Although a bit more difficult, the effort to always find a dinner guest, regardless of the time zone, allowed me to make life happen.

These small changes in my travel habits have helped me foster more meaningful relationships. That  brought me greater work-life balance over time. I now have a greater sense of so many local cultures, and stay in learning mode.

Making Life Happen
Most of us spend so much of our day with activities centered around work. When I learned how to make life happen through intentionally engaging with the people and environments around me, good things happened. I found fulfillment in relationships and learned so much more about the world. Life had more meaning and purpose. I now look forward with anticipation to opportunities to learn during my travels. More importantly, I  connect with people and break bread together. No longer does life just happen. I make it happen.

As leaders in our category, what are we doing daily and weekly to “happen” to our world? What’s our purpose in life? Why are we here? Who matters to us and why?

Finding Meaning 
Wrestling with the above questions, though challenging, can reveal answers that raise incredible considerations for each of us. We can work to promote meaning for our life and for others. Having a clearer understanding of our answers helps us act with more intention. We can control more of what goes on in our lives and how we create opportunity for meaning  purpose for those who’ve entrusted us with their well-being.

 

 

I thought I was just flying into Fort Worth, Texas, for another sales conference. Instead, attending the 2019 Greystone Sales Adventure from May 1 to 3 was a life-changing experience that challenged me to look not only at my role in sales, but my whole approach to aging services.

The first tip-off that this wasn’t sales as usual was the conference theme: “Get Down in Funkytown.” It reflected a collective commitment by these senior living sales professionals to get down and be rebellious as they seek to reach consumers who demand more control of their next phase of life. Oh, and it offered lots of opportunities for the participants to get their funk on.

The next clue was the keynote speaker, Lois Kelly, co-author of  Rebels at Work and co-founder of an organization of the same name. The essence of Kelly’s book and the organization she represents is a call for us to push all layers of the organization — regardless of respective role or place of authority — to take responsibility for driving improvement, change and innovation.

Lois challenged us as sales professionals to assume a leadership role in driving change across our organizations. In thinking about the undertaking Lois tasked us with, I’ll be lending ongoing attention to the following questions in collaboration with our clients:

1. What are we doing as partners to make the status quo unappealing?
2. How are we helping our teams become more agile and flexible?
3. To what degree are we maintaining our curiosity? What did we learn today?
4. Who did we listen to today, and what was their message to us?
5. Why does the world need us?

One final takeaway: Lois summed up her message to the group by pushing each of us to change the soul of the place in which we work. The challenge is monumental, but the talented group of sales professionals is serious about transforming the field in an effort to serve those yet to be served.

 

 

 

 

People bring all kinds of stuff to the gym when they work out — water bottles, headphones, yoga mats.

The boxers at the Rock Steady Boxing class for those with Parkinson’s are notable for what they don’t bring: their canes. Many of them have made such great progress, they can walk into the gym without them.

Since April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month, I talked to Tammy Smith, a volunteer and co-founder of the Rock Steady Harrisburg Boxing program, held at the West Shore Academy of Martial Arts (WSAMA), right around the corner from the Varsity offices. The program is one of 775 affiliates in the national Rock Steady program, a revolutionary boxing training designed especially for people with Parkinson’s.

The program is driven by a team of volunteers and certified Rock Steady Boxing coaches, including the owner of WSAMA, who are passionate about helping to improve the lives of those living with Parkinson’s disease.

The coaches are proud that many boxers in the early stages of Parkinson’s have improved their balance so much through the program that they are able to walk in without the use of a cane. And, unlike many people who sign up for a gym membership and quit a few weeks later, these boxers have nearly perfect attendance. “They don’t miss a class unless they have a serious reason,” said Smith. “They are literally fighting for their lives.”

She goes on to describe the Rock Steady training. “Boxers do a lot of vocal exercises — the coach has them yell out — which combats the issue of their voices tending to get slow and soft. They do a lot of floor exercises, and they also practice falling. If you have Parkinson’s, you have to be comfortable going to the floor because of balance issues. Our coaches teach them how to fall properly and how to get off the floor if they’ve fallen, as well as how to get off a chair — things that you and I may take for granted.”

The program opened its doors in October 2018, and the results have been phenomenal. “We’ve had a tremendous response,” Smith said. In a few short months, boxers’ accomplishments have included decreasing some of their medications, reducing tremors — especially during certain times of the day — and improving coordination and reaction time. “One boxer was thrilled that he can now put his foot on a chair and tie his shoe,” Smith said.

Then, there are the emotional wins. “The coaches are reporting that people who are close to the boxers have noticed a lot of changes in mood and attitude,” said Smith. “They are no longer embarrassed about their symptoms, which used to make them withdraw. In the class they all have similar symptoms, so they can really be themselves and laugh and let loose. Rock Steady brings them together, motivates them and helps with energy and mobility — it’s a win-win,” she said.

“There’s no cure for Parkinson’s,” she went on. “Rock Steady Boxing can improve quality of life and, in some cases, delay the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. I think people are starting to understand that if you want to fight back against it, this is what you have to do.”

The reason Smith pursued Rock Steady Boxing was her father, who has had Parkinson’s disease for over two decades. “For years, we struggled with any sort of resources for Parkinson’s disease in the area,” Smith said. “It was a huge goal of mine to get Rock Steady Boxing up and going, so I traveled to Indianapolis to become a certified coach and bring home the Rock Steady Harrisburg affiliation.”

Chief and Master Instructor Vince Vergara of the West Shore Academy of Martial Arts and one of his coaches, Allyson Halbach, heard through the grapevine that Smith was already certified and held an affiliation and was looking to sponsor a program for her business— so, the two parties came together.

They began with classes for people in the early stages of Parkinson’s and now have opened classes for people with more advanced symptoms. The program is growing rapidly, partly from physician referrals. Class fees are low and go right back into the program. “Anyone that is thinking about taking a class is welcome to come and observe,” Smith said.

Smith is also involved with the Parkinson’s Foundation, speaks about the benefits of Rock Steady and organizes Parkinson’s-related resources and fundraising events in the area, one of which is the 2nd Annual Knockout PD 5K. She invites everyone to come out to the event on Saturday, April 13, at Masonic Village in Elizabethtown. Learn more about the race here.

 

 

 

Eaton Senior Communities is home to 164 residents and, occasionally, a socially assistive robot called Ryan, now being developed at the University of Denver. In a series of posts, I’m talking to people involved in this fascinating project and getting their perspectives on how this lifelike “companionbot” could benefit seniors living with depression and dementia.

Today, Sarah Schoeder, wellness director at Eaton Senior Communities, shares some of her favorite stories about resident interactions with Ryan.

DW’s Story: Reengaging in the Community

DW struggled with depression after the loss of his wife earlier this year. We no longer saw him smile, and he had begun to isolate, no longer taking meals in our dining room or attending holiday parties. At 93, he had limited access to technology in his lifetime — and certainly not to a robot! What transpired was the old DW returning to us. He smiled and laughed again and was always on time, never missing a session. His daughter was thrilled that her dad was once again engaging in the community, and it lessened the stress she felt when she was away on business. DW will tell you that it “was fun” and that “Ryan helped take my mind off the constant thoughts of my wife. It gave my mind a new direction, you might say,” he said. He felt valued, helping the interns achieve their goals and receiving the opportunity to engage with younger adults.

LW’s Story: Overcoming Depression

LW was another unexpected success. As a younger resident with a higher level of education, I was not sure what to expect. She surprised me when she said that “Ryan understands me; she knows what I am going to say before I do.” LW struggled with depression that was intensified by her recent move to the community. Over the course of the trials, she began to report that moving here had improved her mood, and she looked forward to her sessions with Ryan. She is anxious to further participate in clinical trials and recognizes that Ryan helped her overcome the deep depression she felt earlier this year. I am happy to say that she is now an active community member, participating in many social events and helping her neighbor regain her love of art.

PN’s Story: Making a Friend

PN was thrilled when invited to participate with Ryan. He frequently commented on how beautiful her smile and facial features were. He recalls how he asked her out to dinner, but she declined, saying she was not hungry! PN commented on the variations in facial expressions and quality of speech. He was aware of these features and how it affected his relationship with her. PN looked forward to his interaction with Ryan, and the excitement that followed after his sessions was priceless!

BC’s Story: Seeing His Dream Come True

This resident had studied psychology in the 1950s and had particularly enjoyed the area of artificial intelligence. In his 90s, and highly educated, BC enjoyed seeing the “future” that, years earlier, he could only dream of. After his sessions, he would smile and talk at length about the interactions. It was great to see his mind stimulated and the smile he was well known for return when his health was failing him.

See Ryan from her inventor’s perspective in another blog.

 

 

 

Eaton Senior Communities is home to 164 residents and, occasionally, a breakthrough, socially assistive robot called Ryan — created at the University of Denver — which could soon be available to the general public. In a series of posts, I’m talking to people involved in this fascinating project and getting their perspectives on how this lifelike “companionbot” is helping older adults who are living with depression and dementia.

Today, I’m speaking with Sarah Schoeder, wellness director at Eaton Senior Communities, who is a liaison between the residents and the team of scientists developing Ryan. Sarah has been serving the geriatric community for 38 years, including 20 years as an LPN in a skilled nursing facility.

 

Wayne: Sarah, what was it like trying to get residents to participate in the robot pilot studies?

Sarah: I would visit them and drop this idea in their lap, and they’d look at me like I was crazy. I’ve approached a lot of residents whom I didn’t expect to get involved — some of them in their 90s. To see them go from giving me a look like, “You’re kidding me” to becoming excited, looking forward to the sessions and wanting to be involved in the next set of trials, it’s been amazing.

 

Wayne: Did the residents have input about the changes in the robot?

Sarah: Yes, residents would give feedback about what they’d like the robot to look like and sound like — what they’d like it to say. Then, the team would make changes.

 

Wayne: How has the robot changed over time?

Sarah: Ryan’s facial features appear more natural, and the improvement in the movement of her head has given her a “softer touch.” Her smile is beautiful, and she makes me want to smile back!

 

Wayne: Were you concerned that residents might not want to finish the project?

Sarah: Yes, but all residents in both trials of 2018 completed all sessions, which spoke highly of the project goals. Some residents were hesitant and perhaps a little fearful, but after spending time with Ryan, their attitudes completely changed. Ryan has touched the lives of Eaton residents by providing unconditional companionship and interest in their lives. The improvement in mood and cognition was apparent as residents were exposed to educational opportunities and stimulating interactions.

 

Wayne: Does Ryan have a sense of humor?

Sarah: Yes! I’ll give you an example. One resident who was hosting Ryan in her room was walking down the hall, and she said to me, “Can you believe what that crazy thing just said to me?” She went on to say that she and Ryan were talking about how the Denver Broncos were competing against the Patriots in the Super Bowl, and Ryan announced that she was a Patriots fan — in the heart of Bronco country!

 

Wayne: How will this new technology help people age in place?

Sarah: One of the biggest reasons people move into assisted living is that they can’t manage their medicines. If Ryan reminds me to take my medicine, that might be the defining moment that keeps me home.

 

Wayne: How has this experience changed your views on robotics?

Sarah: If someone told me five years ago that I’d be sitting here telling you robots could be valued members of a health care team — that I’d be endorsing them as part of the health care model — I would not have believed it, but I’ve learned that the robot is not replacing me as a nurse and caregiver. It’s just empowering me to be more successful in senior living.

 

Sarah will share stories about resident interactions with Ryan in next week’s blog.