Tag: Varsity podcast

Clutter isn’t about things, it’s about memory, identity and the fear of being forgotten. In our newest episode of Varsity’s podcast, Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with Matt Paxton, nationally recognized downsizing expert and longtime host of A&E’s Hoarders, who has spent decades helping families navigate life’s toughest transitions through his company, Clutter Cleaner.

Matt shared why possessions feel like proof that we mattered, how trauma and loss often sit beneath clutter and why families must lead with love, not judgment, when starting the conversation. The following are some fresh perspectives from the conversation. Check out the full episode here. 

YOU OFTEN SAY CLUTTER IS NEVER ABOUT THE STUFF. WHAT IS IT REALLY ABOUT?

Man, it is never about the stuff. It’s always about the people and the memories attached to the stuff. It’s not about the dining room table. It’s about the people that sat at the dining room table — or more importantly, the people that don’t sit at the table anymore. When you really dig in, clutter is about loss, trauma and love. We’re trying to fill a hole left by someone who mattered to us. The stuff is just a placeholder for that story.

WHY DOES LETTING GO BECOME HARDER AS WE AGE?

It’s proof that we existed. It’s proof that we mattered. And it’s proof that they mattered. We interviewed 100 clients last year, and the number one fear was that their parents would be forgotten when they leave this planet. Think about that — people in their 70s and 80s worried their parents, gone 30 years, would be erased. That fear makes us hold on tight. The items feel like evidence that a life happened and that it meant something.

IS THERE A HEALTHY WAY FOR FAMILIES TO START THESE CONVERSATIONS BEFORE A CRISIS FORCES THEM?

Don’t talk about the mess if you can see the mess. The only time you want to talk about it is when you see it, but that’s also when emotions are highest. So you have to change the tone. Start with, “We love you.” Stress the love. Instead of “How could you live like this?” say, “Wow, you had a big family. You had a lot of love here.” It’s all caused by trauma and loss. When you lead with compassion and align on the finish line — where they’re going next — the conversation changes.

YOU DESCRIBE CLEANOUTS AS AN ARCHAEOLOGICAL DIG. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

It is absolutely an archaeological dig. Every house tells a story — socially, economically, emotionally. I’ve seen it change families. We found a photo of a grandmother as a young woman, and it opened up this incredible story about her being an adjunct professor at MIT and having a whole life her granddaughter never knew about. That one picture shifted how the family saw her. When you slow down and treat it as discovery instead of inconvenience, it can be the most fascinating week of your life.

Want to hear more from Matt? Check out the full episode of Roundtable Talk for more fresh perspectives. Watch new episodes of Roundtable Talk on the Varsity website and on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.

Longevity isn’t the prize if the years aren’t lived with joy, purpose and real connection. In a recent episode of Varsity’s podcast, Roundtable Talk, Derek talked with Dr. Kerry Burnight, a nationally recognized gerontologist, author of the New York Times bestselling JoySpan, and a longtime leader in aging research, policy and elder abuse prevention.

They unpacked why joy is deeper than situational happiness, how many strengths actually improve with age, and why most of the aging experience is shaped more by choices than genes.

The following are some fresh perspectives from the conversation. Check out the full episode here. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE JOYSPAN?

I had been a gerontologist for more than 30 years, and for the first 20 I worked with people in the roughest situations—elder abuse, financial exploitation, profound loneliness. I realized we were waiting too long. The research shows us what fortifies people for long lives, but that information wasn’t getting out in a readable, everyday book. I wanted to fortify people internally the way we try to fortify our bodies externally.

WHY DO YOU BELIEVE JOY IS A CRITICAL MEASURE OF AGING WELL?

Lifespan is how long you live, healthspan is how many of those years are healthy, but something was missing—the well-being component. The American Psychological Association defines joy as well-being and satisfaction. Joy isn’t toxic positivity. Happiness is circumstantial, but joy can exist even in challenge because it’s inside out. And I don’t know any older adults who haven’t had significant challenges.

WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT JOY AND AGING?

One misconception is that aging well is about luck or genetics. Research shows genetics only predict about 13 to 25 percent of our aging experience. Most of it is up to us. Another misconception is that joy has to look like a big smile. It doesn’t. Joy can be quiet contentment. And another is that you’re just born with it—that there are Eeyores and Tiggers. What I’ve seen is that people can learn this.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE AND MEASURE “JOYSPAN”?

The measures come from decades of research on psychological well-being, but one thing was missing—adaptability. When I brought that in, it became clear there are four components people who thrive in longevity share. They are verbs, not traits: growing, connecting, adapting, and giving. People who invest in those areas tend to enjoy very long lives.

Want to hear more from Dr. Burnight? Check out the full episode of Roundtable Talk for more fresh perspectives. Watch new episodes of Roundtable Talk on the Varsity website and on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.

Culture doesn’t burn out overnight, it leaks energy through small breakdowns in communication, trust, and everyday civility. On Varsity’s podcast, Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with Kathy Parry, a corporate energy expert who helps senior living organizations strengthen culture, recharge teams, and reignite purpose.

In their conversation, Derek and Kathy discussed the difference between morale and energy, the early warning signs of a team running out of gas and how leaders’ personal energy sets the tone for the entire culture.

The following are some fresh perspectives from the conversation. Check out the full episode here. 

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE WORK YOU DO AS A CORPORATE ENERGY EXPERT?

I chose the term energy because the work I do revolves around culture and how a culture stays energized. Energy is a great way to describe what it feels like to be on a team. You know when you’re on an energized team and you know when you’re not. Culture should feel energized.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENERGY AND MORALE?

Morale is a little bit narrow. Energy permeates all parts of the culture. You can have a bad morale day, but energy is what gets things done. It means things are firing on all the right pistons.

WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON SIGNS YOU SEE OF A LEADERSHIP TEAM RUNNING OUT OF ENERGY?

You see people showing up late, leaving teams, and poor communication is one of the first signs. When teams don’t feel transparency, energy breaks down quickly. Civility issues, burnout and physical exhaustion from being short staffed can all drain a team’s energy.

HOW DOES A LEADER’S PERSONAL ENERGY IMPACT THE OVERALL CULTURE?

There’s a definite trickle-down effect. You feel a leader’s energy right away. If a leader is burned out or stressed, they’re not showing up as their best self. How a leader shows up directly affects how the team shows up.

WHAT TACTICS HAVE YOU FOUND MOST EFFECTIVE IN HELPING LEADERSHIP TEAMS POWER UP?

Clear, concise communication sounds basic, but it’s critical. When people don’t get answers, they create their own information and that’s where gossip starts. Teams need to know how to get information, where it comes from, and that they can trust it.

Want to hear more from Kathy? Check out the full episode of Roundtable Talk for more fresh perspectives. Watch new episodes of Roundtable Talk on the Varsity website and on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.