Tag: Aging

The following is a recap from Varsity’s Roundtable, a weekly virtual gathering of senior living marketers and leaders from across the nation. For updates about future weekly Roundtable gatherings, submit your name and email address here. 

Retirement planning tends to focus heavily on finances, but leaving a career also means navigating major changes in identity, relationships, routine and purpose. For longtime senior living leaders, who spend their careers helping others navigate life transitions, experiencing that shift firsthand can bring an entirely new perspective on what it means to live with purpose as we age.

Larry Carlson, a longtime senior living innovator, joined Varsity’s weekly Roundtable to share his own journey into retirement and what he’s learned along the way. The conversation explored the difference between staying busy and finding purpose, separating identity from a job title and how senior living communities can help residents continue to contribute, serve and create what Larry calls a “living legacy.” Below are a few Fresh Perspectives from his discussion.

RETIREMENT REQUIRES MORE THAN FINANCIAL PLANNING

Leaving a career can mean losing the routines, relationships, influence and identity that shaped daily life for decades. Preparing emotionally and spiritually, and thinking about what a new “scorecard” looks like, can make the transition more purposeful.

PURPOSE IS DIFFERENT FROM STAYING BUSY

A full calendar doesn’t necessarily create fulfillment. Retirement can provide the freedom to shift from accomplishing to participating, choosing meaningful ways to mentor, serve, create and contribute without simply recreating another full-time job.

IDENTITY CAN OUTLAST THE JOB TITLE

For high achievers, separating who they are from what they do can be one of retirement’s biggest challenges. The transition creates an opportunity to rethink identity, establish a new rhythm and explore what might emerge when professional titles no longer define the day.

SENIOR LIVING SHOULD CREATE OPPORTUNITIES TO CONTRIBUTE

Communities can go beyond activities by viewing residents as citizens with experience, skills and purpose rather than simply consumers of services. Volunteering, mentoring, leading and serving can help residents continue building a meaningful “living legacy.”

RETIREMENT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE ALL OR NOTHING

Experienced professionals may still want to contribute while gaining more time for family, travel and personal interests. Consulting, passion projects, flexible leadership roles and job sharing can provide a bridge between a demanding career and traditional retirement.

Read more about Joe’s views on experiential design in his book Magic Moments: How to Intentionally Engineer Transformative Experiences. Available on Amazon.

QUOTES

“Understanding the human condition, I think, is number one. We hear, we smell, we see, we think. And then, just as we move through the world, how different lighting, spaces, colors, sound and smells affect us.” (Joe)

“Walt had one foot in the past and one foot in the future. That foot in the past was always about understanding the human condition and understanding those things that never change, who we are as human beings and what connects us as human beings.” (Joe)

“One of the commonalities with all of them is that sense of community, that they all feel like they belong to something bigger than them.” (Joe)

“When you think about designing for the oldest person and the youngest person, you’re going to create good design because it’s going to be design that considers both physical limitations and capabilities and how people understand it and interact with design.” (Joe)

“I believe simple design is elegant design.” (Joe)

“For me, bad design is when you haven’t done the hard work of understanding how your audience, your guest, your user is really going to engage this, what they’re coming with, what you have to provide them with.” (Joe)

“I am a huge advocate of human-centered design. And that means getting more human touch points into the experience from the very start.” (Joe)

“I don’t want to lose, and I try not to lose, my sense of curiosity.” (Joe)

“I want to take the time to be able to dive a little deeper, to slow down, to notice the wonder again in the world. When we’re little children, the world is filled with wonder. And then as we become older and older and all the responsibilities and everything comes, the world becomes less wonderful.” (Joe)

“I never chose to be a creative. It wasn’t a choice, really. As far back as I can remember, I loved to draw and build things and dream and come up with stories, and it’s just a part of who I am.” (Joe)

“Take a walk in the woods. Go to the opera. Read a great book. The world is filled with so much wonder. Age shouldn’t play into your ability to tap into that.” (Joe)

“Trust the process. No man is an island. We always are working with somebody else on some level. Allow the process to flow. All of us is better than one of us.” (Joe)

NOTES

Joe Lanzisero is a former Disney Imagineer who spent more than three decades creating immersive, story-driven experiences for Disney parks, cruise ships, hotels and other destinations. His work centers on human-centered design, storytelling and creating environments that build meaningful emotional connections with people.

Today, Lanzisero applies the principles he developed at Disney to a broader range of industries and experiences, including healthcare. He also co-authored Magical Moments, a book exploring how human-centered design and storytelling principles can be used to intentionally create transformative experiences in business and everyday life.

Lanzisero was part of what Disney Imagineers called the “handoff generation,” learning from people who had worked directly with Walt Disney. His career included designing Mickey’s Toontown at Disneyland, helping develop Disney’s early cruise experiences and working internationally in Japan, China and Europe.

Great design begins with understanding the human condition and recognizing how lighting, color, sound, smell, space and other sensory elements influence how people feel and experience an environment.

Disney taught Lanzisero to use story as a foundation for design. Even when an experience wasn’t based on a familiar character or intellectual property, his teams developed a backstory that served as a shared creative framework and helped ensure every element supported the same emotional experience.

Universal design asks designers to consider people at both ends of the age spectrum. Designing something that works well for the youngest and oldest users often results in a simpler, more accessible and more elegant experience for everyone.

Bad design often results from assuming users have the same knowledge, expectations or understanding as the designer. Lanzisero believes designers need to understand what people bring to an experience, establish a simple and intuitive foundation, then layer in additional depth for those who want it.

Healthcare environments can reduce anxiety through relatively simple design choices. Adjusting lighting, managing the soundscape and thoughtfully using music can soften an environment while still meeting the functional and safety requirements of a medical setting.

Technology should support human-centered experiences rather than remove the human element from them. In healthcare especially, Lanzisero believes people want to feel heard, understood and cared for from the very beginning of their journey.

As he ages, Lanzisero wants to preserve his curiosity and rediscover the sense of wonder people naturally experience as children. Having more control over his time allows him to travel, learn, sketch and slow down enough to engage more deeply with the world around him.

Creativity has never felt like a career choice to Lanzisero. Drawing, building, dreaming and telling stories have always been part of who he is, and this stage of his life gives him the freedom to explore creativity with fewer deadlines and business constraints.

Lanzisero’s advice to his younger self would be to trust the process. Creative work is collaborative, and learning to ease off, listen to others and allow ideas to unfold can produce richer results than trying to control everything yourself.

QUOTES

“The OGs of the internet really understand how to leverage technology to get the most out of it, but they also know when to turn it off. They’re the ones we should model when it comes to healthy boundaries and good engagement with technology.” (Ginna)

“People think older adults don’t know how to use technology. When you actually talk to them, they’ll be the first to say, ‘Why don’t you bring in a robot? Why don’t you use voice technology if it’s going to make life easier for the staff?'” (Ginna)

“Older adults see technology as an augmentation of what staff are already doing. I actually think the people preventing technology from becoming part of the ecosystem are often the staff themselves.” (Ginna)

“The reality is that older adults see the value of technology. If it’s easy to use and easy to adopt, they’re on it.” (Ginna)

“Gen X and younger baby boomers are the generation that’s exercising the most. They’re not doing chair yoga. They’re hiking five, ten, fifteen miles. They’re skiing. They’re living very active lives.” (Ginna)

“When I go on a senior living website, I don’t want to be overwhelmed by chatbots and pictures of everyone smiling. I want to know what your lifestyle is. What are you really about?” (Ginna)

“They like simplicity. They like elegance. Simpler is better—not because it’s for old people, but because it’s easier to find what you’re looking for. They hate clutter.” (Ginna)

“Technology is a means to the end. If it’s going to help me maintain my independence and still do the things I love in a different way, then that’s exactly how we should age.” (Ginna)

“I see AI as an assistant—a helper. It’s always human in the loop. You’re still in control, but AI gives you those little moments where you think, ‘Oh, I didn’t think about that.'” (Ginna)

“The whole idea of preventing a fall instead of waiting until someone needs help—that’s going to be a game changer.” (Ginna)

“The most successful senior living organizations won’t just operate inside their four walls. They’ll already be working with future residents in their homes years before they ever move in.” (Ginna)

NOTES

Ginna Baik is an aging technology strategist and consultant with more than 20 years of experience helping organizations use technology to improve the lives of older adults. She previously served as Director of AgeTech at AOL and is a board member for LeadingAge California and Eschaton. Her work focuses on digital engagement, consumer experience, AI and helping senior living organizations prepare for the next generation of older adults.

Before joining AOL, Ginna held leadership roles at Amazon Alexa, HP and other technology organizations, where she focused on voice technology, connected living and digital consumer experiences. She is widely recognized as a leading voice in AgeTech and regularly advises senior living providers on technology strategy, AI adoption and consumer engagement.

Older adults are far more comfortable with technology than many organizations assume. Many were among the first internet users, adopted email decades ago and now use smartphones, online banking, travel planning and AI tools at rates much closer to the general population than stereotypes suggest.

Today’s active agers expect marketing that reflects how they actually live. Rather than showing passive lifestyles, organizations should emphasize adventure, lifelong learning, wellness and authentic community experiences that resonate with younger boomers and Generation X.

Senior living websites often overwhelm visitors with chatbots, floor plans and sales messaging before explaining the community’s lifestyle. Technology should personalize and simplify the experience rather than create additional friction.

The most successful technology feels natural and supports independence without calling attention to itself. Voice assistants, smart home features and AI should help people accomplish everyday tasks while allowing them to remain in control.

AI delivers its greatest value by removing friction from everyday life. Instead of replacing people, it should function as an assistant that anticipates needs, provides helpful suggestions and makes routine decisions easier.

Technology can play a major role in preventing falls, supporting aging in place and improving quality of life through smart homes, voice control and passive monitoring that respects privacy while helping older adults remain independent.

For senior living providers, one of AI’s biggest near-term opportunities is reducing caregiver documentation and administrative work, helping staff capture more accurate information, improve care plans and spend more time with residents.

The future of senior living extends beyond the walls of a community. The most successful organizations will begin building relationships with future residents years before they move in, using technology to support aging at home and create a seamless transition when additional care is needed.

QUOTES

“Daughtering is the often invisible emotional, mental, logistical and identity labor that women do in families to stay connected.” (Dr. Alford)

“Women are doing so much more than they realize until all of a sudden they feel burned out.” (Dr. Alford)

“It’s so important that we call the things we do by the right name. When I’m caring for my parents or interacting with them, I am daughtering them.” (Dr. Alford)

“Being a daughter is something we’re born into and something we remain until the day we die, even after our parents have passed. We can find beauty and honor in that role when we elevate it and talk about its intricacies.” (Dr. Alford)

“Two things can be true at the same time. It can feel like an obligation, and it can also be something you genuinely want to do.” (Dr. Alford)

“I call myself the cruise director. I’m noticing who is where, who needs what, who needs to calm down and who needs a little conversation in the bathroom so we can all get ourselves together.” (Dr. Alford)

“Daughtering is kind of like pennies in a fountain. Each act isn’t special on its own, but over time those pennies add up to something incredibly meaningful.” (Dr. Alford)

“We’re not stuck in the family patterns we inherited. I don’t have to do daughtering exactly the way my mom did.” (Dr. Alford)

“Sometimes the greater goal calls for a little bit of friction.” (Dr. Alford)

“We’re starting each day with our battery at 30 percent, then wondering why we feel overwhelmed, resentful or burned out.” (Dr. Alford)

“Create a rubric for what an A-plus-plus daughter would look like, then aim to be a B-plus daughter. A B-plus daughter is still a pretty dang good daughter.” (Dr. Alford)

“Just because you can see what needs to be done and you’d be good at doing it doesn’t mean it’s yours to carry.” (Dr. Alford)

NOTES

Dr. Allison Alford is a professor at Baylor University, researcher and author of Good Daughtering. Her work focuses on family dynamics, caregiving, gender roles and the often-overlooked emotional, mental and logistical labor adult daughters perform throughout their lives. She has spent more than a decade researching how daughter-parent relationships shape families and personal identity.

Good Daughtering is based on more than 10 years of research and conversations with hundreds of women. Dr. Alford wrote the book to make academic research on family relationships more accessible and to give daughters, siblings and spouses practical tools for understanding the often invisible work women perform within families.

Dr. Alford defines “daughtering” as the often invisible emotional, mental, logistical and identity labor women perform to stay connected with their families.

She explains that daughtering extends far beyond caregiving and includes four dimensions: acting, thinking, feeling and being, many of which happen behind the scenes and often go unnoticed.

She believes society lacks the language to describe the unique role daughters play, causing much of their work to be mislabeled, overlooked or viewed simply as an extension of motherhood.

Rather than striving to be a perfect daughter, Dr. Alford encourages women to define what “good daughtering” looks like for their own circumstances and aim for sustainable expectations that leave room for other priorities.

She compares daughtering to putting pennies into a fountain. Small, consistent acts of care may seem insignificant individually, but over time they build strong, meaningful relationships.

She emphasizes that healthy boundaries are essential and reminds daughters that just because they are capable of doing something doesn’t mean they are responsible for carrying every burden.

Dr. Alford encourages families to begin conversations about aging, caregiving and future preferences long before a crisis occurs, reducing stress and helping everyone make more informed decisions together.

She believes the strongest family relationships balance obligation with gratitude, recognizing that caring for aging parents can be both difficult and deeply meaningful at the same time.

Finding the right senior living community starts long before someone schedules a tour. On an episode of Varsity’s Roundtable Talk, Derek talked with Brad Breeding, founder of MyLifeSite, author of Your Best Path Forward and a nationally recognized expert on helping older adults and their families navigate senior living decisions.

Brad shared why so many families struggle to compare community options, the questions people should ask themselves before beginning a search, and how financial concerns often go far beyond monthly costs. He also discussed the growing influence of adult children, why community culture matters more than flashy amenities and the trends he believes will shape the future of senior living.

Check out the full episode here.

WHAT MAKES NAVIGATING SENIOR LIVING SO CONFUSING FOR FAMILIES?

There are so many different options, but from the outside many of them look the same. Independent living, assisted living and life plan communities can differ significantly in services, pricing and long-term value. Then you add the industry’s terminology, much of which is used differently from one community to another. It’s a lot for families to sort through, especially when they’re making a decision they’ve never faced before.

WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST FEARS PEOPLE HAVE WHEN CONSIDERING SENIOR LIVING?

Cost is one of the biggest concerns, especially what the decision might mean for someone’s estate. Beyond that, many people worry they’re making their final move. They wonder if they’ll like the community or regret the decision after selling their home and leaving familiar surroundings. That’s why spending time in a community and getting to know the people before moving is so valuable.

WHAT ROLE DO ADULT CHILDREN PLAY IN THE SENIOR LIVING DECISION?

Many adult children have firsthand experience with caregiving and understand how emotionally and physically demanding it can be. The question isn’t simply, “How do I care for my parents?” It’s, “What’s the best way to care for them?” Sometimes that’s providing support yourself. Other times it’s helping them find a community that can meet their needs while allowing you to focus on being a son or daughter.

WHERE SHOULD SOMEONE BEGIN WHEN THEY START LOOKING AT SENIOR LIVING?

Start by asking what’s most important to you and why. What concerns do you have? What gives you peace of mind? Once you’ve answered those questions, you can evaluate the different options available. The goal isn’t simply to compare communities. It’s to find the option that best aligns with your priorities and future plans.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT THE COST OF SENIOR LIVING?

Many people assume senior living is simply expensive, but it’s more complicated than that. Different communities include different services and use different pricing models. Especially with life plan communities, it’s important to look beyond the entrance fee and consider the lifetime value, future care costs and overall financial picture.

WHAT DO TODAY’S OLDER ADULTS REALLY WANT FROM SENIOR LIVING?

People often assume they’re looking for luxury amenities, but that’s rarely what I hear. They want a place that’s well managed, where they feel respected, connected and comfortable. They want flexibility, meaningful relationships and confidence in the organization. When I ask residents what they like most about where they live, the answer I hear most often is simple: the people.

———–

The following is a recap from Varsity’s Roundtable, a weekly virtual gathering of senior living marketers and leaders from across the nation. For updates about future weekly Roundtable gatherings, submit your name and email address here. 

———–

Caregiving doesn’t begin the day someone moves into senior living or needs help with daily tasks. For many adult daughters, it starts years earlier through the quiet, often invisible work of planning ahead, managing family relationships, carrying emotional burdens and constantly thinking about what’s next. While much of that work goes unnoticed, it can have a profound impact on both the daughter providing support and the aging parent receiving it.

During Varsity’s weekly Roundtable, Dr. Allison Alford, author of Good Daughtering (available on Amazon), explored the hidden realities of family caregiving, why daughters often shoulder responsibilities that others never see, and how senior living professionals can better understand and support them throughout the decision-making process. Below are a few Fresh Perspectives from her discussion.

DAUGHTERING IS MORE THAN CAREGIVING

Supporting an aging parent extends far beyond medications, appointments and daily tasks. Daughters also carry the invisible work of planning, worrying, preserving family traditions and holding relationships together. Recognizing that unseen work is the first step toward addressing it.

EMPATHY MATTERS DURING THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS

Adult daughters are often balancing guilt, finances, family dynamics and their parent’s wishes all at once. Sales teams that acknowledge those emotions while treating both the daughter and parent with dignity build stronger trust and better relationships.

THE DAUGHTER’S ROLE EVOLVES AFTER THE MOVE

Moving into senior living doesn’t end a daughter’s responsibilities. Her role shifts from hands-on caregiving to advocacy, coordination and emotional support, helping ensure her parent continues to thrive while maintaining family connections.

AIM TO BE A “B+” DAUGHTER, NOT AN “A+” DAUGHTER

Burnout often happens because daughters feel responsible for everything. Setting realistic expectations and healthy boundaries allows them to support their parents while still making room for their own careers, families and well-being.

BECOME THE CEO OF THE CARE TEAM

Instead of trying to do every task yourself, coordinate the people around you. Delegating responsibilities to siblings, spouses, adult grandchildren and the senior living team creates a more sustainable approach and allows daughters to spend more quality time simply being a daughter.

QUOTES

“We’re trying to reduce confusion among consumers, and we’re trying to help reduce financial anxiety around this decision.” (Brad)

“If people are confused about senior living or have concerns about affordability, they’re not going to move forward. Those are the things that delay the decision process.” (Brad)

“People don’t often understand that two communities may look very similar but actually work very differently and may be priced very differently.” (Brad)

“It’s so important to think not just about today, but about the future. Not just what it costs today, but what it could cost over your lifetime.” (Brad)

“Moving to a life plan community used to be celebrated as the last move you’d ever have to make. Over the years, I think that almost became a negative because it felt like such a final decision.” (Brad)

“It’s more important than ever to spend time in a community before you move, getting to know residents and making sure it feels like the right fit.” (Brad)

“Caring for a loved one is a privilege, but you also can’t deny how incredibly difficult the caregiving role can be emotionally, physically and even financially.” (Brad)

“What’s really important to me in my life right now, and why? That’s the real starting point.” (Brad)

“Nobody just wakes up and says, ‘I’m going to go check out senior living today.’ Something has caused them to start looking, and that’s what you have to understand.” (Brad)

“We feel the sales counselor should be the best resource someone has in this decision—not just someone representing a community, but someone helping them find what’s truly best for them.” (Brad)

“People just want a place where they feel comfortable, can be themselves, live with people they like, get up every morning, get involved with something and just be happy.” (Brad)

“When I ask residents what they like most about living here, the most popular answer I get is, ‘The people.'” (Brad)

NOTES

Brad Breeding is founder of myLifeSite, author of the newly released Your Best Path Forward and a nationally recognized speaker on senior living decision-making. A former financial advisor, he has spent more than 15 years helping older adults and their families better understand senior living options, financial planning and the aging journey.

Read an excerpt of Your Best Path Forward on the Varsity website.

myLifeSite is a consumer education and financial decision-support platform focused on helping families navigate senior living with greater confidence. The company also partners with senior living organizations, providing educational content and financial planning tools that help prospects better understand their options while supporting community sales and marketing teams.

Before founding myLifeSite in 2011, Brad worked as a financial advisor, where he saw firsthand how difficult senior living decisions could be for families. His newest book, Your Best Path Forward, is the third edition of his longtime consumer guide and explores the many paths available for retirement living. 

myLifeSite’s financial tools, including MoneyGauge, are now used by hundreds of senior living communities to help prospects evaluate affordability, compare scenarios and reduce financial uncertainty.

Brad believes one of the biggest barriers to senior living is confusion. Consumers often struggle to understand the differences between community types, pricing models and industry terminology, making it difficult to compare options.

Many people focus only on what they need today, but Brad encourages families to think about what they may need years from now. The best decision balances current lifestyle with future health, care needs and long-term financial considerations.

Cost concerns are about more than affordability. Many prospective residents worry about how a move could affect their estate, inheritance or long-term financial security, making education and financial transparency essential.

Adult children play an important role in the decision process, but Brad believes planning ahead can reduce caregiving burdens. He encourages families to focus on what provides the best care and quality of life, rather than feeling obligated to provide every aspect of care themselves.

Brad says the search process should begin with self-reflection. Before comparing communities, older adults should identify what’s most important to them, what concerns they have and what peace of mind looks like in the next stage of life.

Rather than acting only as salespeople, Brad believes community sales counselors should become trusted guides who educate prospects, answer difficult financial questions and help people determine which option is truly best for them.

While amenities matter, Brad believes relationships matter more. Residents consistently tell him the people are what they value most, making community culture, resident engagement and a strong sense of belonging more important than luxury features.

Looking ahead, Brad sees wellness and technology becoming even more central to senior living. He expects communities to rely more on partnerships, concierge-style services and holistic wellness programming that deliver greater value while helping residents live healthier, more connected lives.

Every one of us is aging, yet most of us think of it as something that happens to other people later in life. Recently on Varsity’s Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with writer, editor and Oldster founder Sari Botton to explore why growing older is a lifelong experience. 

Through her writing and community, Botton is helping reshape the conversation around aging by bringing together perspectives from every generation. In their conversation, Derek and Sari discuss why our youth-obsessed culture fuels fear of aging, how intergenerational conversations can replace anxiety with optimism, and why there is no universal timeline for life’s milestones.

Check out the full episode here.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN THAT “EVERYONE IS AN OLDSTER”?

I’ve been thinking about what it means to get older since I was about 10 years old. Throughout life, we’re constantly leaving one version of ourselves behind to become the next. We leave grade school for middle school, high school for college, one job for another, one relationship for the next. 

Every stage brings its own expectations, questions and even grief. That’s why I say everyone is an oldster. Aging isn’t something that suddenly begins at 65. It’s something we experience throughout our entire lives, whether we’re thinking about careers, relationships, children or changes in our bodies.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WHO FEELS LIKE THEY’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME?

I’d encourage them to ask, “What can I still do?” We don’t know how much time any of us has, but we can be intentional with whatever time remains. Rather than focusing on opportunities you may have missed, think about the goals that are still possible today. It’s never too late to pursue something meaningful. Maybe it won’t happen exactly the way you imagined years ago, but you can still make room for the things that matter most to you now.

DOES GETTING OLDER GIVE PEOPLE MORE FREEDOM TO REINVENT THEMSELVES?

Absolutely. I hear from people all the time who reinvent themselves later in life. They retire, discover interests they never had time to pursue, start new careers, develop creative passions or simply realize they finally have permission to try something different. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through Oldster is that there is so much possibility in getting older. We often focus on what aging takes away, but we don’t talk enough about everything it can make possible.

HOW CAN WE COMBAT AGEISM AS A SOCIETY?

I think ageism largely comes from ignorance. People don’t really know what older adults are like or how capable they continue to be. That’s why I’m committed to making Oldster an intergenerational conversation. When people share their stories across generations, they begin to understand one another. Younger people realize that someone in their 60s or 70s is still living a full, engaged life, while older adults gain a better understanding of younger generations. The more we hear one another’s experiences, the more empathy we build and the less room there is for ageist assumptions.

QUOTES

“Everyone is an oldster. We deal with aspects of physical and emotional aging all the time. It’s not just an old person thing.” (Sari)

“We live in an ageist, youth-obsessed culture driven by capitalism. There’s money to be made by making aging a problem that needs to be solved.” (Sari)

“There’s no going back. You’re going to leave some things behind. That anxiety has morphed into curiosity about what other people’s experience is of getting older.” (Sari)

“When we’re not looking at ourselves in a mirror, we have these ideas of who we are that are based on past versions of ourselves.” (Sari)

“The intergenerational conversation happening on Oldster is helping people feel less trepidatious about aging. It certainly has for me.” (Sari)

“People kept telling me, ‘My life took off at 60… 65… 70… 75.’ They found new partners, new careers, stopped caring what other people thought and started taking risks. That really comforted me.” (Sari)

“Whenever we can really exhibit humanity in its truest form, it’s good. It reminds people they’re not alone in their humanity or their messiness.” (Sari)

“I like myself better than I ever have because I’ve become more myself. I’ve stopped trying to be who I think other people want me to be.” (Sari)

“I’m really just shooting my shot, and it’s paying off. As I get older, more confident and more skilled, I’ll shoot even bigger shots.” (Sari)

“I would say to anyone who feels behind in life: You do you. It’s okay not to be on track with everyone else.” (Sari)

“There is so much possibility in getting older. That’s one of the best things I’ve discovered.” (Sari)

“There isn’t just one right path. If you really listen to yourself and be your true self, you’ll find your right path. It might not match other people’s, but it will take you where you belong.” (Sari)

NOTES

Sari Botton is a writer, editor and founder of Oldster, a Substack publication exploring the emotional, cultural and personal realities of aging at every stage of life. A longtime journalist and essayist, she has become a leading voice challenging traditional narratives around growing older through deeply personal storytelling and intergenerational conversation.

Oldster is a reader-supported publication on Substack dedicated to reframing aging as a lifelong experience rather than something that begins in old age. Through essays, interviews and community discussions, it brings together readers of all ages to examine identity, relationships, purpose, grief, reinvention and the many realities of getting older.

Before launching Oldster, Botton served as an editor at Longreads, where she created the “Fine Lines” series that inspired the publication. She also edited the bestselling anthologies Goodbye to All That: Writers on Loving and Leaving New York and Never Can Say Goodbye: Writers on Their Unshakable Love for New York. She is currently working on an Oldster anthology expected in 2027, with plans for a podcast and television series that will continue expanding the conversation around aging.

Botton believes aging doesn’t begin at a specific age. She argues that everyone experiences aging throughout life as they move from one stage to the next, continually leaving behind previous versions of themselves.

She says our culture’s obsession with youth has turned aging into a problem to be solved, often fueled by marketing that profits from people’s fears about getting older.

One of the greatest benefits of the Oldster community has been creating conversations between generations. Hearing older adults share stories about finding new careers, relationships and purpose later in life helped ease her own anxiety about turning 60.

Botton believes one of the most overlooked realities of aging is grief—not only over physical changes, but also over saying goodbye to earlier versions of ourselves, changing relationships and unrealized dreams.

She encourages anyone who feels behind in life to stop comparing themselves to others and recognize there is no universal timeline. Every person’s path unfolds differently, and authenticity matters more than keeping pace with peers.

Rather than presenting an idealized version of aging, Botton believes sharing the messy, imperfect parts of life helps people realize they aren’t alone and creates deeper human connection.

Looking back on her own journey, Botton says growing older has made her more comfortable with herself, more willing to take risks and more interested in pursuing new creative passions. She believes aging brings far more possibility than most people realize.

The following is a recap from Varsity’s Roundtable, a weekly virtual gathering of senior living marketers and leaders from across the nation. For updates about future weekly Roundtable gatherings, submit your name and email address here. 

———

Art has the power to do something facts and statistics often can’t: change the way people see one another. In senior living, where outdated stereotypes about aging still influence everything from marketing to everyday interactions, creativity can become a powerful tool for reshaping perceptions and celebrating the richness of later life. 

That’s exactly the focus of Meg LaPorte and Jordan Evans, co-founders of Art Against Ageism, who joined Varsity’s weekly Roundtable to share how storytelling, public art and interactive experiences are helping challenge ageism and inspire more authentic conversations about aging. Below are a few Fresh Perspectives from their discussion.

AGEISM IS OFTEN INVISIBLE UNTIL YOU LOOK FOR IT

Age bias often appears in subtle ways, from marketing imagery to everyday language. Regularly auditing communications and customer experiences can uncover hidden stereotypes.

PUBLIC ART CAN STRENGTHEN COMMUNITY CONNECTIONS

Murals and interactive installations invite engagement, generate conversation and help position senior living as an active part of the local community.

AUTHENTICITY BUILDS TRUST

Showing real residents, real experiences and everyday life creates more credible storytelling and helps families connect before they ever visit.

SMALL EXPERIENCES CAN CHANGE BIG BELIEFS

Interactive activations don’t have to be elaborate. Simple, thoughtful experiences can spark conversations that reshape perceptions of aging.

STORIES BRING PEOPLE TO LIFE

Portraits capture attention, but personal stories create emotional connection and help audiences see people instead of stereotypes.

FIGHTING AGEISM TAKES AN ORGANIZATION-WIDE EFFORT

Marketing matters, but lasting change also comes from staff, partnerships and everyday interactions that celebrate aging with dignity.