Tag: Aging

Aging rarely happens the way people expect. It arrives gradually, bringing changes in identity, relationships and perspective that can feel difficult to navigate. In a recent episode of Varsity’s Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with bestselling author, cartoonist and former special education teacher J.J. Hubal, whose book Goodbye Old, Hello Bold uses humor and visual storytelling to explore the realities of growing older with more curiosity and courage.

In their conversation, Derek and J.J. discussed why aging often creates anxiety, how humor can make difficult topics more approachable and why reinvention becomes increasingly important later in life. J.J. also shared personal reflections on loneliness, friendship, creativity and the importance of continuing to step outside your comfort zone as you age.

Check out the full episode here.

WHAT DOES “HELLO BOLD” MEAN TO YOU?

I started the whole project at about 72 years old and I had the old part down, but I definitely didn’t have the bold part. So I’m the perfect author. I had zero bold. To me, bold is different things for different people. Sometimes it’s something very small. Sometimes it’s something very large. Most of my time was spent wallowing in self-pity that life hadn’t worked out for this reason, that reason. The whole project was really a search for bold. I didn’t start it even as a book. I certainly didn’t start it with a whole pile of bold ideas. I had absolutely nothing.

WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE APPROACH AGING WITH ANXIETY INSTEAD OF CURIOSITY?

I think people get stuck in the negative, what didn’t go right. We also fill our minds with things that aren’t realistic anymore. There’s nobody blazing the trail for us. We’re pioneers. There are 10,000 boomers turning 65 every day and millions turning 80. You’re overwhelmed with loss and change. All loss causes change and even change you choose ends up with losses. You just have fewer people. If you’ve lost health, money, people or security, all of those things keep us stuck for a while.

WHY IS HUMOR SUCH A POWERFUL TOOL WHEN TALKING ABOUT AGING?

Humor is a powerful tool for talking about anything sensitive or difficult. Adding a cartoon takes you out of a live person saying something. It’s just a drawing. Humor makes the medicine go down easier. Reality can be a tough thing to deal with. The old humor acts like a spoonful of sugar. It lets people face difficult truths without feeling attacked or overwhelmed.

HOW IS THE CULTURAL NARRATIVE AROUND AGING CHANGING?

It’s definitely changing and it’s most evident in media and advertising. Years ago, if somebody was even 50, it was treated like they were almost ready for the grave. Now it’s becoming more natural. We’re investing less in clinging tooth and nail to old images and more in what’s next. People are experimenting more. We’ve opened up both ends of the spectrum. I see younger generations being less rigid too. There’s more freedom now to age honestly.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FEARS PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT AGING?

One of the most popular cartoons I’ve done is just a sign in a yard that says, ‘Estate Sale: Everything My Children Told Me They Don’t Want to Inherit.’ People react to it because the stuff we hang onto has emotional power. It represents pieces of our lives, our history, our memories. It’s not just about cleaning out a room. It’s about realizing the past isn’t coming back. I had to stop looking backward and understand that I was stopping any positive input into my life.

QUOTES

“One day I was young and I went to bed. I woke up. I was old. That’s how it happens. Suddenly, without warning, you’re there.” (J.J.)

“It was really a search for bold. I didn’t start it even as a book. I certainly didn’t start it with a whole pile of bold ideas. I had absolutely nothing.” (J.J.)

“Everybody’s got a story. Everybody’s got stuff. You can’t base a relationship on sharing your victim story, or at least not very long or successfully.” (J.J.)

“I think a thumbnail definition of bold is facing reality and stepping up and doing what you need to do.” (J.J.)

“Getting older is a very big deal. Anyone who says it happened in a different way or that getting old is no big deal is a liar, liar, pants on fire.” (J.J.)

“Humor is a powerful tool for talking about anything sensitive or difficult.” (J.J.)

“As long as you’re fighting the word old, you’re never going to move forward.” (J.J.)

“Every time someone dies, it’s like a small library burning down.” (J.J.)

“Fear of the future and longing for the past can keep you stuck in place.” (J.J.)

“The good news is your world can get bigger much faster than it took for it to shrink.” (J.J.)

“Nobody was going to rescue me. I had to make this happen.” (J.J.)

“Be careful who you invest time in. How many viable years do I really have left? I don’t have a lot of time to make big mistakes with.” (J.J.)

NOTES

J.J. Hubal is a bestselling author, cartoonist and former special education teacher whose work explores aging through humor, honesty and visual storytelling. Her book Goodbye Old, Hello Bold encourages readers to rethink aging, embrace change and approach later life with more curiosity, courage and self-awareness.

J.J. Hubal is the author of Goodbye Old, Hello Bold, a visually driven book that blends cartoons, essays and reflections on aging. Through humor and deeply personal observations, the book addresses topics like loneliness, grief, reinvention, friendship and resilience while encouraging readers to embrace the realities of growing older.

Hubal spent decades working as a special education teacher before fully embracing writing and cartooning later in life. She has published cartoons and essays for years, with many of her cartoons focused on aging, memory, relationships and the realities of later life. She currently lives in Savannah, Georgia, where she continues writing, drawing and speaking about aging, creativity and personal growth.

J.J. said aging often creates anxiety because people become overwhelmed by loss, change and unrealistic expectations about what later life is supposed to look like.

She described “bold” as facing reality honestly and stepping up to do what needs to be done, even when the actions are small or unnoticed by others.

J.J. explained that humor helps people approach difficult conversations about aging because cartoons and comedy create emotional distance while still communicating truth.

She shared that many of the cultural narratives around aging are shifting, including the growing acceptance of using the word “old” openly and honestly.

J.J. talked about how loneliness became a turning point in her own life and inspired her to actively seek new friendships, experiences and communities.

She discussed the importance of staying open to reinvention later in life and said even small steps, like attending an art class or joining a group, can dramatically expand someone’s world.

J.J. emphasized that many fears around aging stem from clinging too tightly to the past instead of creating space for new experiences, relationships and possibilities.

She encouraged people to think proactively about aging by preparing emotionally, socially and practically for future changes rather than waiting until challenges become crises.

Dementia care is too often framed around what’s lost—memory, independence, identity—when in reality, the opportunity lies in recognizing what remains and how people continue to adapt. Shifting that perspective doesn’t just change care outcomes, it changes how teams communicate, how organizations train staff, and how families stay connected through moments that might otherwise feel overwhelming.

That was the focus of a recent conversation on Varsity’s weekly Roundtable, where we welcomed Teepa Snow, founder of Positive Approach to Care®. Known for her practical, human-centered approach, Teepa shared how reframing dementia from decline to ability can unlock better interactions, stronger relationships and more effective support systems across senior living. Below are a few Fresh Perspectives from her discussion.

PEOPLE DON’T STOP, THEY SHIFT

Dementia doesn’t mean someone is doing less, it means they’re doing things differently. When one pathway breaks down, the brain adapts and finds another way forward.

BEHAVIOR IS COMMUNICATION, NOT DISRUPTION

What looks like repetition, frustration or withdrawal is often a person trying to communicate, stay engaged or solve a problem without the tools they once had.

DEMENTIA ISN’T JUST MEMORY

When we treat dementia as forgetfulness alone, we miss the broader signs like language loss, confusion or physical changes and delay the support that could make a difference.

HOW YOU SHOW UP CHANGES EVERYTHING

The difference between resistance and cooperation often comes down to approach. Directing and correcting creates tension, while partnering builds trust and keeps interactions human.

SUPPORT STARTS WITH CURIOSITY

The strongest care doesn’t assume it understands the situation. It asks what’s working, what’s not and meets people where they are to tailor support that actually helps.

SKILL IS THE MISSING INFRASTRUCTURE

Dementia care isn’t something people just “figure out.” Without training, coaching and real-time reinforcement, even good intentions can lead to frustration and breakdowns in care.

Varsity’s Roundtable is a weekly virtual gathering of senior living marketers and leaders from across the nation. For updates about future weekly Roundtable gatherings, submit your name and email address here. 

QUOTES

“Theater has the great ability to bring people together in a dark space without anything to distract them. So everyone’s there to hear the same story at the same time. And when they leave the theater, they walk away with that story.” (Jerry)

“Live theater is a very, very special and unique experience that can only happen with that particular group of people you happen to show up with for the same performance.” (Jerry)

“I looked into her eyes and I saw a 19-year-old. She was so eager to be the best that she could be, even at that age. Here’s this young choreographer, and she was willing to listen and take the notes because I was out front watching.” (Jerry)

“Making musicals is like fishing with a net. You throw it into the sea. If it comes back with a lot of fish, you’re going to have success. But if it comes back half empty, you’re not going to run very long.” (Jerry)

“There are more letters in the word business than there are in show. My mom always used to say, it’s our job to get them to come back tomorrow.” (Jerry)

“By giving to my community and creating a safe space and raising money with the help of millions of other dancers and creative artists, that philanthropic event gave me a career.” (Jerry)

“Michael Bennett used to say to me, don’t wait for the muses. Just show up and do the work. And really, that’s what it is. It’s about showing up.” (Jerry)

“The food that you eat, how you fuel your body, is as important as how you use your body to exercise and express itself. The fuel will actually help you in the longevity, without question.” (Jerry)

“When people are in physical spaces together, they are actually doing a dance not to bump into each other. And patterns start to emerge.” (Jerry)

“Finding space for those stories is important, because along with them comes a lot of young, new artists that have new voices. And we need those voices.” (Jerry)

“My relationships with my younger creative artists fuel me as much as I’m giving them advice and fueling them. It’s a give and take, there’s no question.” (Jerry)

“Patience. Patience is the one thing that so many young artists have to learn.” (Jerry)

NOTES

Jerry Mitchell is a two-time Tony Award-winning director and choreographer known for shaping iconic Broadway productions like Hairspray, Kinky Boots, and Legally Blonde. With a career spanning decades, he has built a reputation for blending storytelling, movement and emotion to create memorable theatrical experiences.

Beyond his creative work, Jerry is deeply involved in the Broadway community, contributing as a mentor, collaborator and philanthropist. His leadership and influence extend across generations of performers and creators, helping shape both the art and business of theater.

Jerry is also the creator of Broadway Bares, a long-running fundraising initiative that has generated over $30 million for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. His philanthropic impact earned him the Isabelle Stevenson Tony Award, recognizing his commitment to community and giving back.

Live theater creates a shared experience that connects audiences in a way no other medium can.

Great performances evolve over time, with shows becoming stronger and more refined as actors fully inhabit their roles.

Different generations engage with stories in unique ways, often reflecting their own personal experiences and perspectives.

Success in creative work comes from consistently showing up and putting in the effort.

Strong collaboration is essential, requiring alignment, trust and a shared vision to bring ideas to life.

Mentorship is a two-way exchange, where experienced artists and younger talent learn from each other.

Staying relevant requires adapting to changing audiences and understanding what resonates across generations.

Patience is a critical ingredient for long-term growth, especially for those early in their careers.

Aging has long been framed as a story of decline. Slowing down, scaling back, preparing for what’s next. But that narrative is starting to shift, driven by research, changing expectations and a growing recognition that later life can be defined by strength, purpose and continued growth.

That shift was at the center of a recent conversation on Varsity’s weekly Roundtable, where we were joined by Colin Milner, CEO of the International Council on Active Aging, to discuss The Wellness Revolution: From Decline to Potential. Below are a few Fresh Perspectives from his discussion.

DECLINE WAS A STORY, NOT A DESTINY

For decades, aging was framed around managing decline, largely because of the gap between lifespan and healthspan. But emerging science is rewriting that narrative, showing that decline isn’t inevitable, it’s modifiable.

MINDSET IS A HEALTH INTERVENTION

How people think about aging directly impacts outcomes. A positive outlook, paired with healthy behaviors, can improve both longevity and quality of life, making mindset a critical (and often overlooked) part of wellness strategy.

WELLNESS HAS A DEFINITION PROBLEM

Many communities claim to be “wellness-based,” but without a clear understanding of what wellness actually means, execution falls short. True wellness is active, intentional and rooted in whole-person outcomes, not just programming.

THE MODEL SHIFT IS FROM CARE TO POTENTIAL

Senior living is moving from a place that manages decline to one that unlocks potential. The communities leading the way are designing experiences around purpose, identity and continued growth, not just support.

THE FUTURE RESIDENT IS ALREADY DIFFERENT

Incoming generations are more health-focused, informed and expectation-driven. Communities waiting until residents “need” care risk missing the opportunity to engage them earlier through a wellness-first approach.

WELLNESS ISN’T A PROGRAM, IT’S A COMMITMENT

The communities doing this best aren’t looking for quick wins. They’re investing time, resources and energy into building cultures where wellness is fully integrated, measurable and continuously evolving.

Varsity’s Roundtable is a weekly virtual gathering of senior living marketers and leaders from across the nation. For updates about future weekly Roundtable gatherings, submit your name and email address here. 

Dementia is often defined by what people lose, but a more helpful question is what abilities remain. In a recent episode of Varsity’s Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with Teepa Snow, occupational therapist, educator and founder of Positive Approach to Care, one of the most influential voices in dementia care.

Their conversation explored why fear still shapes public perceptions of dementia, how communication must adapt as brain changes occur and why Snow prefers the term “care partner” over caregiver. She also discusses caregiver burnout and the importance of building stronger community support around people living with dementia. The following are some fresh perspectives from their conversation. Check out the full episode here. 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TAKE A POSITIVE APPROACH TO DEMENTIA CARE?

Well, in my experience, I can’t use what you can’t do. It’s not possible. What I can do is engage with you and see what you have. And that’s where we can come into a relationship and I can work with you. I need to tune in to the reality of who you are now, not just who you were and what you’re capable of, because that’s what we have to work with and come together with.

WHY IS FEAR STILL THE DOMINANT EMOTION PEOPLE ASSOCIATE WITH DEMENTIA?

I think human beings, as a rule, like the predictable. They like once they master something, they don’t have to think about it so much. And I think what dementia does is rob us of our knowingness. It forces us back into a space of paying attention, being observant. The reality is dementia is ever changing. You don’t get to relax into routine. You have to stay alert, and maybe people don’t want to be on the job so much.

WHAT MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT DEMENTIA DO THE MOST HARM?

The idea that everybody experiences the same kind of losses and changes in the same order. Alzheimer’s tends to take the front seat, but if I’m living with Lewy body or vascular dementia, my symptoms may be very different. It pays to get a pattern established of what I’m living with and how it’s going. And people also think it only happens to older adults and that it’s all about memory. Memory is just this much. There’s a whole lot more going on.

HOW EARLY SHOULD PEOPLE START LEARNING ABOUT BRAIN HEALTH AND CHANGE?

I would like us to learn more about brain health and wellness when we’re younger. Kids know their body parts, but they don’t know the brain parts, and those are super important. If I know how my brain’s supposed to work, then I can notice when it’s doing something unusual. We tend to wait until there’s so much evidence something isn’t going well, and by then we’re past screening and dealing with significant change.

WHY DO YOU PREFER THE TERM “CARE PARTNER” OVER “CAREGIVER”

I believe there is no care about me without me. It’s time to quit treating someone living with dementia like they’re a football and we’re passing them around. It’s their life, their care. I’ve got to figure out how to work with that human being. I can’t just give care because if I give it, you have to receive it. If you don’t want it, you don’t want it. So I have to partner with you.

WHAT ARE EARLY SIGNS OF CARE PARTNER BURNOUT?

If I were to ask you to tell me three things you’ve done today for yourself and you can’t, that’s a sign. If you can’t tell me something you feel good about in your relationship or something that brings you pleasure, it’s time to have a conversation. We don’t train people for this work. We drop them into it and they keep going until they drop. We need to build community around this, not expect one person to carry it all.

Want to hear more from Teepa? Check out the full episode of Roundtable Talk for more fresh perspectives. Watch new episodes of Roundtable Talk on the Varsity website and on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.

QUOTES

“I can’t use what you can’t do. What I can do is engage with you and see what you have. That’s where we can come into a relationship and work together.” (Teepa)

“When you’ve lost something, your brain doesn’t give up. Your brain picks something else to use.” (Teepa)

“Dementia robs us of our knowingness. It forces us back into paying attention and being observant because it’s always changing.” (Teepa)

“I need to tune in to the reality of who you are now, not just who you were and what you used to be capable of.” (Teepa)

“People think dementia is all about memory, but memory is this much. There’s all this other stuff going on.” (Teepa)

“The relationship is going to change dramatically. Living with brain change is hard whether you’re on the inside of it or the outside observing it.” (Teepa)

“My job is not to decide that someone is suffering. My job is to figure out how to support you through what you’re going through.” (Teepa)

“I believe there is no care about me without me. It’s their life and their care, and I have to figure out how to partner with them in it.” (Teepa)

“The reality is they’re not less, they’re different. Their brain works differently, but they’re still living life.” (Teepa)

“Eighty percent or more of this work is done by unpaid people like family and friends, and we don’t train them. We just drop them into it and they keep going until they drop.” (Teepa)

“We need at least three people, maybe five or more. We need to build community around this condition.” (Teepa)

NOTES

Teepa Snow is an occupational therapist, educator and one of the most recognized voices in dementia care. She is known for helping families, care partners and senior living professionals better understand brain change and build more meaningful connections with people living with dementia.

Snow is the founder of Positive Approach to Care, an organization focused on improving dementia care through training, education and practical support strategies. The organization works with families, senior living providers and healthcare professionals around the world to build skills and confidence in supporting people experiencing brain change.

Through Positive Approach to Care and the Snow Approach Foundation, Teepa and her team provide training programs, professional education and community-based demonstrations designed to improve dementia care practices. Her work emphasizes practical communication techniques, recognizing remaining abilities and building supportive communities around people living with dementia. Her programs now reach professionals and families across the United States, Canada and more than two dozen countries.

A positive approach to dementia care focuses on what abilities remain rather than what has been lost, meeting people where they are and building connection through observation, tone, body language and supportive communication.

Fear often dominates public perceptions of dementia because the condition disrupts routines and predictability, forcing family members and care partners to stay attentive and adapt constantly as abilities change.

Dementia is often misunderstood as primarily a memory problem affecting older adults, but brain change can involve many other cognitive functions and can also appear earlier in life depending on the type of dementia.

Communication challenges arise because people living with dementia may struggle to retain new information, making it important for care partners to simplify questions, provide visual cues and offer structured choices rather than open-ended requests.

Care partners often experience burnout because most dementia support is provided by unpaid family members who receive little training or preparation for the emotional and practical demands of caregiving.

Snow encourages replacing the term “caregiver” with “care partner,” emphasizing that the person living with dementia remains the central decision-maker in their own life and that support should be collaborative rather than controlling.

Effective dementia care requires broader community support systems, with multiple people sharing responsibility rather than placing the entire burden on a single family member.

Senior living organizations can improve dementia support by training staff to recognize individual histories, preferences and abilities, allowing residents to continue experiencing purpose, independence and meaningful engagement even as cognitive abilities change.

QUOTES

“Man, it is never about the stuff. It’s always about the people and the memories attached to the stuff.” (Matt)

“It’s not about the dining room table. It’s about the people that sat at the dining room table. Or more importantly, the people that don’t sit at the table anymore.” (Matt)

“It’s proof that we existed. It’s proof that we mattered. It’s proof that they mattered.” (Matt)

“My advice is always don’t talk about the mess if you can see the mess.” (Matt)

“You first start off with, hey, we love you. You have to really, really stress the love.” (Matt)

“It’s all caused by trauma and loss of people that matter. And we’re trying to fill that hole with stuff.” (Matt)

“Dude, it’s an archeological deal. That’s why I love my job every day. It is an archaeological dig. I get to find out when grandma was the coolest person in the world.” (Matt)

“This is the most fascinating week of your life. It could be the most interesting week, and the most productive, and generationally changing week of your life.” (Matt)

“I can’t tell you how many families I’ve seen just breaking up, totally break up over stuff. Because of a sofa? Really? Because of a guitar?” (Matt)

“Let me summarize 300,000 hours for you. It’s never about the stuff and you can’t take it with you. And it’s all about time.” (Matt)

“You’re 80, dude. You’re borrowed time. Do we really want to spend the next three years going through pictures of you going to Acapulco in 1980 with your wife? Or do we just want to go to Acapulco one more time with your wife? Let’s go make some new memories.” (Matt)

“Just have the oldest person in the room point out one item and say, tell me a story about that item. One item, one story, it’ll change your life forever.” (Matt)

NOTES

Matt Paxton is a nationally recognized expert on downsizing, decluttering and guiding families through major life transitions. Known for his 15 years on A&E’s Hoarders and appearances on Filthy Fortunes and Legacy List, he blends compassion, storytelling and practical strategy to help families navigate change.

Paxton is founder of Clutter Cleaner, a national company specializing in estate cleanouts, downsizing and hoarding situations. The organization supports families through emotional and logistical challenges, with a growing franchise model designed to serve communities across the country.

Originally trained as an economist for the Federal Reserve, Paxton built his career after personally cleaning out family homes following multiple losses in his twenties. He has spent more than 300,000 hours in hoarded houses and plans to retire after helping one million families. His work emphasizes donation, reuse and reducing family conflict over possessions.

Clutter is never about the stuff; it represents people, memories and unresolved grief.

Letting go becomes harder with age because possessions feel like proof that we existed and proof that the people we loved mattered.

Families should approach difficult conversations with compassion, leading with love rather than criticism and aligning around a clear “finish line” such as a move to senior living.

Cleaning out a home should be treated like an archaeological dig, uncovering stories that can reshape how younger generations see their parents and grandparents.

Too many families fracture over possessions, even though “you can’t take it with you” and time is the true currency.

Instead of spending years sorting old memories, Paxton urges older adults to create new ones while they still can.

Younger generations are shifting toward experiences, reuse and secondhand goods, signaling long-term cultural change around consumption.

Senior living communities should position themselves as true hubs for storytelling and intergenerational connection, inviting younger generations in to experience the community long before a move is necessary.

Grief is woven into the aging journey, yet in senior living it’s often the quiet undercurrent few talk about openly. Beyond the loss of a loved one, residents may be grieving a move, a change in mobility, a shift in identity or the gradual loss of independence. When those transitions go unacknowledged, they can surface in unexpected ways, from withdrawal and isolation to frustration or agitation. On Varsity’s weekly Roundtable, we explored how creative expression can offer a powerful, compassionate response to that reality.

Alison Schroeder, Creative Arts Coordinator at Goodwin Living, joined Varsity’s weekly Roundtable for an insightful conversation on how art-based programming creates space for emotion, connection and resilience. Below are a few Fresh Perspectives from her discussion.

GRIEF ISN’T JUST ABOUT DEATH, IT’S BUILT INTO THE AGING JOURNEY

From losing a spouse to losing a driver’s license, identity or mobility, grief shows up everywhere in senior living. Communities that acknowledge those quieter losses — not just bereavement — create space for deeper healing.

ART IS THE ANTIDOTE TO LOSS

Grief is about losing. Art is about creating. That shift from absence to expression restores agency, purpose and momentum, especially when so much else feels out of control.

RITUALS EXIST FOR DEATH, NOT FOR TRANSITIONS

We have funerals for loved ones, but no ceremony for stopping driving or moving to assisted living. Creative programming can become the missing ritual that helps residents process life’s unmarked transitions.

PROCESS MATTERS MORE THAN PRODUCT

In memory care and skilled nursing especially, the goal isn’t a perfect painting, it’s engagement. Like exercise, creative practice builds emotional strength even if there’s no masterpiece at the end.

CELEBRATION IS A FORM OF THERAPY

Art shows, books, talks and festivals don’t just showcase talent, they validate identity. Publicly honoring residents’ creative work transforms private struggle into shared pride.

SUPPORT CREATES BREAKTHROUGHS

Creative transformation rarely happens alone. Whether it’s interns, therapists, fellow residents or staff, community collaboration amplifies impact and turns individual expression into collective healing.

Varsity’s Roundtable is a weekly virtual gathering of senior living marketers and leaders from across the nation. For updates about future weekly Roundtable gatherings, submit your name and email address here. 

QUOTES

“We have been fed a steady diet of inaccurate information about growing older, and that information is that it’s all decline. And the truth is in the literature that there are many things that get better as you get older. We don’t care as much what people think about us, we appreciate our connections more, and we have greater potential for problem solving.” (Dr. Burnight)

“I’ve just been amazed by, like, who would think that a book on aging would become a New York Times bestseller? I mean, that’s where people are in recognizing these 100-year lives and recognizing that the status quo is not sufficient.” (Dr. Burnight)

“There were times where I had my head down on the keyboard crying because it was so hard because I wanted to bring in all the research, but I also wanted to make it really readable. And so I just kept thinking, simplify, simplify.” (Dr. Burnight)

“When I realized that the American Psychological Association defines joy as well-being and satisfaction, it made me realize that joy isn’t this like happy, happy, you know. It’s the opposite of toxic positivity.” (Dr. Burnight)

“What they said is that happiness is often circumstantially dependent, whereas joy can exist even in challenge because it’s an inside out phenomena. And that was an ah-ha moment for me.” (Dr. Burnight)

“I don’t know any older adults who haven’t had significant challenges. That is the nature of being a human. And we’re going to have those challenges. So it isn’t that we’re going to control for everything. That’s impossible. It’s that we’re going to find a way to have joy anyway.” (Dr. Burnight)

“What the research shows us is that genetics predicts between 13% and 25% of our aging experience. So the vast majority is up to us.” (Dr. Burnight)

“One utterly suffered, and it was such a rough road, and it was really hard to be around her. And then the other one had found this ability to be content, and we couldn’t get enough of her… we watched that it is possible to walk with grief and joy.” (Dr. Burnight)

NOTES

Dr. Kerry Burnight is a nationally recognized gerontologist, author, speaker and advocate with more than three decades of experience working with older adults and families. Her work focuses on aging, joy, well-being, elder abuse prevention and redefining longevity beyond decline.

Dr. Burnight is the author of JoySpan, a New York Times bestseller that reframes aging by emphasizing joy, adaptability and meaning alongside lifespan and healthspan. She is also a co-founder of the Elder Abuse Forensic Center and a leader in research-driven aging policy and practice.

Joy is not fleeting happiness but a deeper sense of well-being that can coexist with hardship and challenge.

Genetics play a smaller role in aging outcomes than commonly believed, with most of the aging experience shaped by behavior and mindset.

Joy and well-being can be intentionally built through daily practices, much like physical health.

People who thrive in long lives consistently invest in growth, connection, adaptability and contribution.

Aging is not solely defined by decline; many cognitive, emotional and relational strengths improve with age.

Gratitude and attention shape perception, influencing both mood and social connection.

Loneliness is best addressed through proactive effort, including initiating relationships rather than waiting to be invited.

Society, policy and senior living environments must move away from infantilizing older adults and toward dignity, choice and purpose.