Tag: aging mindset

Every one of us is aging, yet most of us think of it as something that happens to other people later in life. Recently on Varsity’s Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with writer, editor and Oldster founder Sari Botton to explore why growing older is a lifelong experience. 

Through her writing and community, Botton is helping reshape the conversation around aging by bringing together perspectives from every generation. In their conversation, Derek and Sari discuss why our youth-obsessed culture fuels fear of aging, how intergenerational conversations can replace anxiety with optimism, and why there is no universal timeline for life’s milestones.

Check out the full episode here.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN THAT “EVERYONE IS AN OLDSTER”?

I’ve been thinking about what it means to get older since I was about 10 years old. Throughout life, we’re constantly leaving one version of ourselves behind to become the next. We leave grade school for middle school, high school for college, one job for another, one relationship for the next. 

Every stage brings its own expectations, questions and even grief. That’s why I say everyone is an oldster. Aging isn’t something that suddenly begins at 65. It’s something we experience throughout our entire lives, whether we’re thinking about careers, relationships, children or changes in our bodies.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WHO FEELS LIKE THEY’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME?

I’d encourage them to ask, “What can I still do?” We don’t know how much time any of us has, but we can be intentional with whatever time remains. Rather than focusing on opportunities you may have missed, think about the goals that are still possible today. It’s never too late to pursue something meaningful. Maybe it won’t happen exactly the way you imagined years ago, but you can still make room for the things that matter most to you now.

DOES GETTING OLDER GIVE PEOPLE MORE FREEDOM TO REINVENT THEMSELVES?

Absolutely. I hear from people all the time who reinvent themselves later in life. They retire, discover interests they never had time to pursue, start new careers, develop creative passions or simply realize they finally have permission to try something different. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through Oldster is that there is so much possibility in getting older. We often focus on what aging takes away, but we don’t talk enough about everything it can make possible.

HOW CAN WE COMBAT AGEISM AS A SOCIETY?

I think ageism largely comes from ignorance. People don’t really know what older adults are like or how capable they continue to be. That’s why I’m committed to making Oldster an intergenerational conversation. When people share their stories across generations, they begin to understand one another. Younger people realize that someone in their 60s or 70s is still living a full, engaged life, while older adults gain a better understanding of younger generations. The more we hear one another’s experiences, the more empathy we build and the less room there is for ageist assumptions.

Aging rarely happens the way people expect. It arrives gradually, bringing changes in identity, relationships and perspective that can feel difficult to navigate. In a recent episode of Varsity’s Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with bestselling author, cartoonist and former special education teacher J.J. Hubal, whose book Goodbye Old, Hello Bold uses humor and visual storytelling to explore the realities of growing older with more curiosity and courage.

In their conversation, Derek and J.J. discussed why aging often creates anxiety, how humor can make difficult topics more approachable and why reinvention becomes increasingly important later in life. J.J. also shared personal reflections on loneliness, friendship, creativity and the importance of continuing to step outside your comfort zone as you age.

Check out the full episode here.

WHAT DOES “HELLO BOLD” MEAN TO YOU?

I started the whole project at about 72 years old and I had the old part down, but I definitely didn’t have the bold part. So I’m the perfect author. I had zero bold. To me, bold is different things for different people. Sometimes it’s something very small. Sometimes it’s something very large. Most of my time was spent wallowing in self-pity that life hadn’t worked out for this reason, that reason. The whole project was really a search for bold. I didn’t start it even as a book. I certainly didn’t start it with a whole pile of bold ideas. I had absolutely nothing.

WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE APPROACH AGING WITH ANXIETY INSTEAD OF CURIOSITY?

I think people get stuck in the negative, what didn’t go right. We also fill our minds with things that aren’t realistic anymore. There’s nobody blazing the trail for us. We’re pioneers. There are 10,000 boomers turning 65 every day and millions turning 80. You’re overwhelmed with loss and change. All loss causes change and even change you choose ends up with losses. You just have fewer people. If you’ve lost health, money, people or security, all of those things keep us stuck for a while.

WHY IS HUMOR SUCH A POWERFUL TOOL WHEN TALKING ABOUT AGING?

Humor is a powerful tool for talking about anything sensitive or difficult. Adding a cartoon takes you out of a live person saying something. It’s just a drawing. Humor makes the medicine go down easier. Reality can be a tough thing to deal with. The old humor acts like a spoonful of sugar. It lets people face difficult truths without feeling attacked or overwhelmed.

HOW IS THE CULTURAL NARRATIVE AROUND AGING CHANGING?

It’s definitely changing and it’s most evident in media and advertising. Years ago, if somebody was even 50, it was treated like they were almost ready for the grave. Now it’s becoming more natural. We’re investing less in clinging tooth and nail to old images and more in what’s next. People are experimenting more. We’ve opened up both ends of the spectrum. I see younger generations being less rigid too. There’s more freedom now to age honestly.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FEARS PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT AGING?

One of the most popular cartoons I’ve done is just a sign in a yard that says, ‘Estate Sale: Everything My Children Told Me They Don’t Want to Inherit.’ People react to it because the stuff we hang onto has emotional power. It represents pieces of our lives, our history, our memories. It’s not just about cleaning out a room. It’s about realizing the past isn’t coming back. I had to stop looking backward and understand that I was stopping any positive input into my life.

Aging has long been framed as a slow narrowing of possibilities, but that perspective is beginning to shift. In a recent episode of Varsity’s podcast, Roundtable Talk, Derek sat down with Colin Milner, founder and CEO of the International Council on Active Aging, whose work has helped redefine aging as a dynamic, engaged and opportunity-filled stage of life.

In their conversation, Derek and Colin explored why changing perceptions around aging takes time, the growing importance of closing the gap between lifespan and health span and how simple behaviors like staying active and curious can have outsized impact. Check out the full episode here.

WHY HAS IT BEEN SO HARD TO CHANGE THE NARRATIVE THAT AGING EQUALS DECLINE?

It really comes down to time. It was a massive wave going in one direction, and changing that takes decades. I was told it would take 30 years to make an impact, and now, 25 years in, wellness is everywhere. Things take time to change, and many people don’t stay in it long enough to see the results.

WHAT DOES “ACTIVE AGING” MEAN TODAY?

The definition hasn’t changed. It’s about being engaged in life, in all areas of life. What has changed is the implementation. If you’re engaged, the ripple effect begins to happen. You become more socially connected, more physically active and more involved overall. Engagement drives everything.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE START SEEING AGING AS GROWTH INSTEAD OF DECLINE?

Everything changes. You start looking at possibilities instead of limitations. The world opens up to you instead of closing off. When systems are in place to support that mindset, people have the opportunity to grow rather than feel like things are being taken away from them.

WHY SHOULD WE FOCUS MORE ON HEALTH SPAN, NOT JUST LIFESPAN?

If we don’t shrink the health span gap, all we’re doing is extending life and extending years of ill health. Right now, that gap is about 12.4 years. People want to live longer, but not in poor health. We have to close that gap or longevity doesn’t really mean what we think it does.

WHAT ARE MARKETERS GETTING WRONG ABOUT OLDER ADULTS?

Ageism. Most marketers are younger and not excited about creating for an older audience. But two older adults control 70 to 75% of disposable income. It’s a massive opportunity that’s still being overlooked because of outdated assumptions about what aging looks like.